the crown jewel …

…of sporting occasions is back. We can all sneak off to work toilets to watch archery and handball to our heart’s content. Once more can we berate elite athletes for tiny mistakes whilst sitting on the sofa. Day-time tele binges are socially acceptable again. Strap yourselves in and prepare your friends and family for some expert analysis on sports you barely know exist.

However, amongst the brilliance of the Olympics and the pure joy of becoming swept up in the drama of sailing or the theatre of table tennis, there are a few events which inexplicably underwhelm, approached with apathy by athletes and spectators alike.

Despite being the world’s biggest, most popular, and usually most enthralling sport, Olympic football is incredibly tedious. Every other international footballing competition grips the world’s imagination like a vice - The World Cup, Euros, Copa America, and Afcon generate mania, impressive viewing figures, and spikes in the purchasing of knock off retro football shirts.

Olympic football, however, fails to inspire even a smidgen of this delirium, paling in comparison to the other Olympic events on the roster.

It feels as though FIFA and the Olympics are missing a trick; the rule that almost all players must be u23, the lack of convincing marketing, and the generally half-assed feel of the whole thing means that very few people seem to take notice. Winning gold in football just does not hold the same clout or importance as getting on the podium in other events. I hear more people talking about a pre-season friendly between Arsenal and United than I do Olympic Football.

Maybe we’re overexposed and the appetite for more football just isn’t there, but I can’t help but wish that Olympic football was as good as the rest of the summer spectacle. Hey Ho – it’s 4 x 2000m Sculling for me.